February 11th 1821
My Dearest Henry
Upon giving you up into your own hands, I have forced myself to say many things to you unpleasant in their own nature & peculiarly so to me who not only abhor the details of business, but to whom all allusion to former times & to past melancholy transactions must be extremely painful. It was however right to do so, & I have now only to wish you to understand your own affairs, & to give me the satisfaction of knowing you think they have been as well managed as, from the circumstances, they could be. To myself I take no credit for this; it is due to the person who (with fortunately a head for business complicated even as yours then was) from the first moment he ever saw you, took an affectionate interest in all your affairs only to be equalled by a parent, & who has made up to you in Care & zeal, for the loss of one – if anything can. He will always be ready to explain or advise should you want either, but otherwise will not henceforth interfere. For myself I shall preserve the right which Nature gives me, of suggesting any thing which from your youth & inexperience may not occur to you. Feeling myself nervous & emue <1> on this subject I determined to write instead of speaking, as I would not wear the appearance of dejection on this anniversary of the happiest day of my life, the day which gave you to me. But unless you could know the degree to which I had wished & prayed for You you cannot judge of the rapture with which I first beheld you. If you are as great a blessing to my old age as you were a Joy to Mes jeunes années, <2> I have nothing more to wish. Heaven preserve you to me! & to your Sisters, <3> whose protector I trust you will be, when We are gone.
Notes:
1. Emotional.
2. My young years.
3. Caroline Augusta Edgcumbe, née Feilding, Lady Mt Edgcumbe (1808–1881); WHFT’s half-sister, and Henrietta Horatia Maria Gaisford, née Feilding (1810–1851), WHFT’s half-sister.